You know you’ve been a consultant for too long when…

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1. You refer to your cousin’s new baby as a deliverable.

2. You no longer need a website to tell you the airline schedule and flight numbers.

3. You have enough little white ID badges that you can open any office building in the country.

4. You know all the late night security guards at the clients sites on a first name basis

5. You feel unbalanced without a laptop bag hanging from your shoulder

6. You go to a grocery store and immediately walk to the front of the line at the checkout knowing you’re “Platinum”

7. You start thinking that life in Canadian Armed Forces would give you more time at home

8. You buy a netbook PC just so you can work on the plane when the guy in front of you reclines his chair.

9. You are upset when you come home on Friday night and the lights aren’t on, the bed isn’t turned down, there are no mints on your pillow and you can’t find the mini-bar.

10. “Vacationing” is spending an entire weekend in your own home

11. You try calling room service or leaving a wake-up call from your home phone

12. You have seen more movies at 40,000 feet than you have at Cineplex.

13. You automatically remove your shoes, belt and empty all metal objects from your pockets when entering a friend’s house.

14. You go to a family wedding and tell the Bride she really should have asked for an upgrade.

15. You forget to put gas in your own car because you know they always fill it before they give it to you.

16. Your significant other flies to your hotel for the weekend

17. You have a panic attack when your smartphone won’t boot.

18. You write a workplan for your weekends

19. Someone asks you what you do for a living, and you can’t answer the question

20. Before starting the car, you insist on telling everyone where the emergency exits are and how to release the seat belt buckle in 2 or more languages.

21. You’ve been staying in the same hotel, you instinctively call it “home”

22. You are actually thinking of sending Christmas emails this year with your postal address set to the Fairmont Hotel.

23. You wake up at night from a terrorizing nightmare… you were given a middle seat behind a bulkhead!

24. You realize the hotel staff are your closest friends

25. The biggest joke is Airline miles. You accumulate many hundreds of thousands but shudder at the thought of using them.

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